Inside Thoughts from a Childbirth Educator: Who’s Never Given Birth
If you are a pregnant mama whose guilty of letting your healthcare provider make all of the decisions for you and your baby, I would encourage you to take charge. This is done by educating yourself about pregnancy and labor. NEWS FLASH!!!! This is your pregnancy journey, not the healthcare providers. You have the right to your own decisions!
Wow, as someone who was terrified to give birth one day, my perspective has made a total shift. I used to be fearful to bring a little human into the world. It was my lack of education and the fear of “pain” that drove me to dig deeper into learning about births. I was taken back by the lack of education women have around birth and how driven hospitals are to have women solely rely on them for their birth.
Hospitals are so quick to tell you what YOU CAN'T do instead of approaching it in a way of what your body CAN do. The whole “ oh you can't go past your due date so we must induce you” or “ You can't eat or drink in labor” or “ you can’t deliver your baby without constant fetal monitoring because you are considered high risk”. These kinds of comments make me personally feel like doctors are putting up walls to fully experience physiological labor and interfering with being in tune with our bodies during the labor process. For me to sit and think about a woman in labor being so exhausted and dehydrated or hungry makes me sick. Why wouldn't you want to nourish her and give her food that is going to support her energy levels so she can push past the exhaustion. Labor is already a complex experience so why would we limit women on what they can do. If they are feeling like they need to move around in labor, we shouldn’t put limits on what her body is telling her to do even if something is more convenient for the doctors.
Um hello, we aren’t there for the convenience of the doctors, but to bring a baby into this world. This is a vulnerable time for women, the last thing they should be worried about is if what they are doing is going to be convenient for her healthcare provider. Don’t get me wrong, doctors are educated and they are there when we need them. But more times than not, doctors approach birth like a medical intervention or like an annual visit. They want to rush the process, they want to do things on their time instead of letting our bodies do what they are made to do. Yes, there is a time and place for medical interventions but to gravitate towards those interventions so willingly is mind blowing to me. Who you pick for your healthcare provider makes or breaks your journey. Make sure your provider isn’t using their title to make you feel like you don’t have a choice. You also have the right to change healthcare providers at any point if you feel like your healthcare provider isn’t a good match.
It was in those moments, I realized how important it is to take control of your desires for birth and educate yourself so one can go into it with a clear mind regardless of how unpredictable birth can be. Let me give you an example. Lets say, you planned for a natural birth but you end up having a caesarean delivery. This could be very disheartening to some people. For months, you prepared your body for a natural birth and have an emergency caesarean. Yes, this is a shift in your “ plans” but since you took the time to educate yourself about all of the possible medical interventions, you don’t panic because you know the exact steps to the process and still have control of certain aspects. You still can control skin to skin contact with you or your partner right away, postpone newborn scanning for up to an hour, have a say in when you want your baby to get a bath etc. Your whole perspective changes when you educate yourself about the unpredictability of birth and mentally be prepared for the worst case scenario. It's really what you do leading up to that point that makes the difference.
Even if you had a different outcome from your original “plans” doesn’t mean all of your healthy habits that support you and your baby were for nothing. Think of it like a race, you train and prepare for a race not knowing the outcome. It is similar in birth, and just because you don't know the outcome doesn't mean you stop trying and preparing your body. It actually should motivate you to dig deeper within and become mentally stronger because you don't know. I will say though the more you pour into yourself and your birth experience the better you will feel knowing you put your all into it and took control of the things you could control at the time. Forget phrases like “ oh my doctor said I can’t do xyz” and think about how you can start advocating for yourself and preparing your mind and body for a birth experience you will enjoy REGARDLESS of the outcome.
I help women identify their fears and anxieties in pregnancy and build sustainable habits that will make them feel more confident and capable during pregnancy and labor. Women deserve to feel like they have control over their journey and that starts with them identifying and overcoming the challenges that are stopping them from enjoying pregnancy and using education to make the best decisions for themselves. If you are ready to prepare for pregnancy, reach out to me and we can chat.
